Archive for March, 2010

Developing Co Parenting Skills: Working Together To Raise Happy Kids

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Co-parenting isn’t easy. It’s actually quite a chore. When neither parent is willing to negotiate or communicate, the child has the job of transitioning from one parenting style to the other. As a parent educator and family therapist, I have seen many anxious and confused children affected by their parents’ inconsistent rules and styles. Sometimes children do this under the same roof and sometimes under two, but the bottom line is that it is the parents’ responsibility to create a balance.

Parenting skills vary much like personalities. The differences can be as subtle as the setting of bedtimes to as serious as choosing consequences for bad behavior. The bottom line is adults have a number of motivations for parenting. For instance, they might try to do better than their parents. Thus, we attempt to find new and effective strategies to raise good kids. These ambitions can be difficult enough. Now add the challenge of joining forces with another adult who was raised by different parents and who may be select different strategies.

So how do parents, married or divorced, stay clear and consistent, raise confident children, and feel influential as parents? They learn how to work together and become better co-parents! Here are several successful co-parenting steps:

Identify your personal style and motivations. Your first job in becoming a successful co-parent is to figure out your general style and motivations. If it were all up to you, how would you parent? How would you motivate your children? How would you use punishment and encouragement? What are the top 10 values you would like to teach your kids? Now ask yourself WHY? Why would your style be that way? What is your motivation? How did your parents parent you? Are you attempting to repeat their upbringing or compensate for it? Share your parenting style and motivation with your co-parent. I understand that you might feel vulnerable sharing your style and motivation. Your style may be different than your spouse’s style. In order for you and your partner to co-parent successfully, you both need to appreciate and support the ideas you bring to the table. When you listen to where the other parent is coming from, it will allow you to join forces. Before deciding on a parenting style and direction, consult parenting books and classes. Now that you have looked at each other’s parenting style, take a look together at good parenting books and the current research. Report back to each other and consider how your styles measure up. Decide on a parenting style. You now have several examples of parenting strategies and philosophies. Its time to blend what you believe with what your co-parent believes and what the experts say. This is the ultimate in negotiation but remember that if you do not negotiate at the adult level, it leaves your child to figure it out. Once you’ve decided, then write down the basics and embrace your new co-parenting style. Implement your new co-parenting style. Now you parent! Both parents are on the same page. Children are clear on what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not follow the family expectations. Thus, it lessens the occasions of arguing between the parents and the opportunities for manipulation by the children. Hold weekly co-parenting meetings with your spouse. Since you are the CEOs of your family and are business partners in a very real way, you must stay in constant communication. The success or failure of your family rests in your capable hands. Thus, co-parenting meetings are a must! These meetings should include finances, home maintenance, parenting, and relationship issues. Meetings should be held weekly with schedule book, meeting journal and budget book in hand. Continue to review your parenting style. You may find that one child thrives under your new system while another loses balance. Good co-parents always re-evaluate and restructure when necessary.

We are busy parents today. It is difficult to take the time to evaluate our parenting styles but the payoff is big for you as a parenting unit as well as for your child. Co-parenting takes the pressure off our children and the conflict out of our lives.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio. The article homepage: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/family-day.html

Motivation Theories – Understanding The Content Theories Of Motivation

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Before we go into look at the four major content theories of motivation  developed by the theorists,  it is thus vital to have a general  understanding of what  content theories  are in the first place. Hence so,  the content theories also known as the ‘needs theories’ are  based on the needs of the individuals. In other words,  these theories basically explain  why the needs of the humans  keep changing overtime  thus focussing on the specific factors that motivate them. By doing so, what they try to explain is that the needs of the individuals should be taken into consideration, and thus  be satisfied in order to motivate them. To say, if these needs of the individuals are not met or satisfied,  then it is unlikely that the people will be motivated to perform the tasks in order to meet the goals and objectives. Having said that, let us now look at each of the four  content theories separately.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory

The Hierarchy of Needs theory is one of the four  major content theories developed by Ibrahim Maslow in the year 1943. This theory is based on the fact that it is the unfulfilled needs that leads to motivate the individuals. It also provides an understanding to why the needs of the individuals keep changing overtime and the importance of identifying what each and every individual is after in terms of their needs. This is because, it probably gives an insight to what exactly are the individual needs that have to be met,  in order to motivate them. Having said that, Maslow  identified five levels of needs which are basically the,

Self Actualization ( level 5 – highest level)

Self Esteem ( level 4 )

Social belonging & Love needs (level 3)

Safety ( level 2)

Physiology ( level 1)  

According to Maslow, these five levels of needs have to be satisfied  if the individuals are to be motivated. In other words, it is said to believe that motivation is thus driven by the existence of these unsatisfied needs, meaning to say that unless they have fulfilled  their needs there are motivated to do so. However, his idea was that in order to motivate the individuals the first higher level of needs have to be satisfied before the next level of needs. And  only once the lower level of needs are satisfied the next level of needs will act as a motivator. For example, a person who is dying of hunger will at first be motivated to fulfil his hunger by earning wages/salaries . But once his basic needs are satisfied,  then this will no longer act as a motivator , but thereafter it is only the second level of needs such as  a good and safe working environment etc that will lead to motivate him. To say, Maslow pointed out the fact that satisfying  the individual needs is a step by step process that should follow from the lowest level to the highest level of needs and only satisfies  one level of needs at a time.

Herzberg’s Two Factor Theory

Herzberg’s Two factor theory is another major content theory that focuses on the individual needs of the people. According to Herzberg, he basically identified two separate groups of factors that had a strong impact on motivation. His first group of factors were the hygiene factors which consisted of factors such as working conditions, quality of supervision, salary, status, company policies and administration. What he tend to believed was the fact that hygiene factors strongly influenced feelings of dissatisfaction among employees thus paving way to affect the job performance. He also went in to say that the presence of these factors will not motivate the employees as such, but rather it is necessary to have the hygiene factors right in the first place if the employees are to be motivated. What actually meant by this was that, if these hygiene factors are not present in the organization then it is not quite possible to motivate the employees thus because it is these factors that act as the foundation for the motivating factors to be effective. For example, without a good and safe working environment it is no use giving responsibility to an employee because the chances of motivating him are very low.

 Having said that, the  second group of factors  identified were known as the motivating factors which consisted of factors such recognition, achievement, responsibility, interesting job and advancement to higher level tasks as and growth etc. Herzberg believed that the motivating factors do satisfy employees which will eventually lead to employee motivation. But he also went into say that in order for the motivating factors to act there have to be the hygiene factors present.

Alderfer’s ERG Theory

The ERG theory is another form of content theory developed by Alderfer. This is also based on the needs of the individuals. To say, the ERG theory was  proposed  thus thinking that it will basically overcome the limitations of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory. However, this too is in the form of a hierarchy but only comprising of three levels. In other words, unlike the Maslow’s theory  which has five levels of needs the ERG theory has simplified the levels of individual needs in to just three levels. The three levels of needs identified by Alderfer  are,

Existence ( Physiological & Safety needs) Relatedness ( Social & External Esteem needs) Growth ( Internal Esteem & Self-Actualization needs )

Alderfer  basically  reduced the number of levels in his hierarchy thus combining each of the levels together. In other words, the first level in his hierarchy was formed by grouping both the physiology and safety needs together. Then he combined the social and external esteem needs as the second level and last  of all the internal esteem and self-actualization needs as the third and final level. However, he went into say that  the first level of needs which is existence still have the priority over the other two levels of needs. And hence, the order of the needs may not exact be the same for all individuals and thus could rather change depending on the individual. It doesn’t always happen that the individuals are motivated  to satisfy the lower level first in order to go to the next level as in the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory. For example, an individual will be motivated to perform the tasks because  of his need for recognition is fulfilled rather than for a safer working environment. Unlike in Maslow’s hierarchy, the ERG theory allows for different levels of needs to be pursued simultaneously. He further went into say that, according to his theory the individuals may expect to satisfy a higher level of needs and those who are unable to  satisfy that level ( frustration regression process) will eventually be frustrated and look to satisfy the lower level that seems to be much more easier to satisfy in order to  motivate them. This will motivate the individuals for the moment with the hope that they could satisfy the higher level in the times to come. In such situations, it is thus important for the employers to identify this and help them to satisfy the lower level of needs in order to motivate them.

McClelland’s 3 Needs Theory

The 3 Needs theory also known as the Acquired  theory or the Learned theory, is another content theory developed by McClelland around 1961.  Like the other content theories, this theory is also based on the needs of the individuals. In his theory, what McClelland tries to explain is the fact that motivation of an individual could basically result from three dominant needs. The three dominant needs identified are,

The need for achievement The need for power The need for affiliation

According to McClelland, human motivation is thus dominated by these three needs. In other words, some individuals will look for tasks that will help them to  achieve something, paving way to  motivate them. Likewise some others  may need power and some may look for affiliation. However, he also went into say that even though all these  needs are present in each and every individual, there is basically one need that dominates the individuals when it comes to most people. For example, an individual will want to achieve certain things, will want to maintain good  relations  with others but at the same time, more than anything  else they may want lead the others in order to motivate them.

The need for Achievement

Having said that, the need for achievement basically means  the extend to which an individual wants to perform tasks that are difficult and indeed challenging. To say ,  in order to motivate an  individual  with a need for achievement  they probably have to be given difficult  and challenging tasks. They will basically go to achieve goals that are challenging and realistic. In other words, what they really want is success and positive feedback, avoids both the low-risk and high-risk situations, and prefer to work alone rather than in a team with other high achievers. That way, they really tend to be  motivated if they happen to believe the tasks they are given to perform are indeed challenging.

The need for power

Likewise, individuals with the need for power will basically want to lead the others. This may be two types meaning to say personal and institutional. . In other words, some individuals will look for personal power while the other may need for institutional power. Individuals with a need for personal power will thus want to direct and influence others. What actually mean by this is that, if they are not allowed to lead the others then they probably will be de-motivated. Saying that, individuals with a high need for institutional power wants to organize the efforts of others for the success of the organization. For example, individuals with the need for institutional power are more likely to be motivated if they are provided with status oriented positions, managerial posts and leadership.

The need for Affiliation

And to say, individuals with the need for affiliation basically look for good, friendly  interpersonal  relationships with others. In others words, they really want to feel like that they are accepted by others and liked by others, they basically strive to maintain good relationships by way of trust and understanding, they prefer cooperation more than competition, As a result, individuals with a high need for affiliation do prefer to work as a team and work in customer service  environments which will lead to motivate them.

And finally, it should be said that all of the content theories are based on the fact that in order to motivate the people their needs have to be satisfied or fulfilled. Individual need do vary from one individual to another, and that is why it is important to understand these theories properly in order to motivate the individuals effectively.

 

By shameena Silva

Get The Top Financial Help For College Or University Expenses

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

When you advance through daily life, you will determine that addressing the expense of higher education may end up being one of the worst monetary situations you may ever need to endure. We all know that college or university is costly, but we don’t genuinely fully grasp just exactly how pricey it can be right until we start to try to obtain funding for tuition.

College and university rates and tuition fees continue to rise, despite the fact that today’s current financial state has forced far more families into a lower income bracket. This can be hard to confront, but lacking a higher education, your own possibilities in the employment sector may be dismal. Even though times are difficult for quite a few students and their own family members, you should not delay obtaining a very fine college education on account of lack of funding. Monies are offered to most students, regardless of what their financial scenario is. Knowing where to get the funds you need to have is one of the most significant hurdles you’ll have to overcome.

While you’re in public high school, the matter of college or training funds may perhaps be briefly covered. If you’re lucky, they’ll have set you on the perfect course. This is rather uncommon, as the staff employed in high schools generally are not very well trained in financial guidance. They generally do not know the way to guide you in the best ways to cope with college financing. They are there mostly to handle the daily business of getting students through high school in the first place.

Luckily, there are places to find smart financial advice once you need to locate funding for college. Financial offices and student advice centers are the most beneficial place to begin with. All colleges will possess a financial department, which can advise with applying for a scholarship, grant or loan. They will also staff guidance counselors and advisers who should be more than ready to assist you.

The staff in the student support centers are employed explicitly to help you with solving student issues. Monetary problems are commonly at the head of the list and they’re effectively qualified for dealing with financial difficulties. They are able to also help you locate grants, scholarships, federal student loans and private loans, and advise you on the way to get past a short-term monetary crisis. This could include locating a job, either on or off of campus. They’re generally several employment prospects available on the campus which are only accessible to college students. Trying to find one of these may be a very fine way of acquiring a constant source of income.

Most guidance counselors are well educated in dealing with difficulties. If your own skills lie elsewhere, a position off campus may possibly end up being best for you. Other than simply examining help wanted ads, your guidance counselor could already know of companies which choose to use college students to fill seasonal positions. Don’t forget to question them about it, if the subject does not come up by itself. It’s very likely that they have directed students before you in the proper direction for applying for off campus jobs.

When you first show up at a assistance department for help, you will be allocated to a particular counselor. Develop a good rapport with this person if possible. Likingness can open doors to prospects you might never have found out about otherwise. It really is in your best interest to make full use of the counselor’s training. They can help ease the stress you are undergoing.

For your very own benefit, don’t just go to see your counselor whenever you need assistance with your finances. They can also help you through numerous other types of predicaments and are there to assist in whatever method they can. If you’re having difficulties finding housing, or are experiencing a personal situation which you need to have assistance dealing with, they can help you in that also. When you are a college student, your own guidance counselor might be a very helpful ally you won’t want to ignore.